It is awful that I feel such sorrow when watching a senseless movie. That the profound loss portrayed in this movie moved me makes me feel foolish.

I realize I am keeping many things inside me, and I am saddened when I think that I do not love. I remember feeling deep love and, at its loss, a pain that was unbearable. It is something that I have not found in a very long time, something I have not felt in a long time. I am afraid I will not feel it ever again. Not the joy and not the pain. That makes me so sad. I am empty, by design, and I look for fulfillment. I travel, I appreciate fine art. I love to share my experiences, but I only seek to fill that hole.