I have lost my faith. Not that faith; I mean the faith in what I do for a living. I have always said I don't just have a job, it is more like a calling. It is definitely a ministry. No one - ok, no dedicated person - works in law enforcement as a job. Jobs are what you do to give you money to keep doing the other things in life. Law enforcement was something I once claimed I would do for free. That is how most everyone I've known in my field feels about it.

I lost my faith. I am not certain when exactly it started to happen. I know for certain it isn't the most important ministry that suffers; I still make a difference each day in the life of citizen's I assist. But the loss of faith in the organization saddens me. As my friend Ellen says, the relationship with the organization is like a loveless marriage, we stay together for the sake of the children. I think of the arrogance and apathy deep within the organization's management and I am certain that is a key to the loss of faith. This loss isn't only mine; I believe many of us share it.

The arrogance: we assume we are the best because we keep telling ourselves that. We adopt a position that all other organizations cannot and do not measure up to our standards - and true as that may be, borne out by the character flaws that other organizations exhibit - that should not give rise to arrogance. Pride in ourselves, yes we should be proud, but arrogance leading to ignorance? That is what is happening.

The apathy: too many people promoted without a chance to stay close the their roots they have planted for years. Forced to separate from home and loved ones breaks down the essential support we all need to succeed. The arrogance of the organization to disregard this movement adds to the apathy of those moved. The newly minted managers don't care about the commands they are given because they won't be staying long enough to see any changes they might make come to fruition. Some of these new managers haven't a clue how to lead and because they won't be staying, they don't care.

The arrogance of the organization is carried on within some new managers to the point that, combined with an apathy they have, is a poison that does true harm to the local organization. Then, it is carried further afield as the managers continue to promote, move, and become arrogant from the validation they receive by promotions. I could go on, but why?

I feel the apathy.